The Best Teacher in My House Wasn’t Me

One of my twins is the epitome of curious. Why? How? When? Who? To this day he peppers every conversation with it.

His curious nature gave me a chance to do something really important, for myself and his three brothers.

I said, "I don't know." A lot.

He'd ask about space, or how a machine worked, and instead of guessing or brushing it off, we'd go get books. We'd look at diagrams together, trying to figure it out side by side.

His brothers started noticing. Not that he had the answer, but that he was allowed to not have it. That not knowing wasn't something to hide, it was just the starting point. They saw how he persisted, grew, and gained confidence through the process.

It changed me too. I learned to be less about the answers and to be more open to wondering. His questions encouraged me to chase my own.

Somewhere along the way, we start hiding our curiosity, our lack of knowing, our uncertainty. We become the ones who just know things.

But we can't tell our kids to be curious and then never model it. They learn by watching us. 

When we're overt about not knowing, about the strategies we think through to find out, about the resources we use, all of that teaches them something no explanation could. 

It teaches them how to go from not knowing to knowing. It tells them that process is good, not something to rush past or hide.

Next time you catch yourself not knowing something, try saying it out loud. See what your kids do with that.